Happy Memorial Day weekend!
I realized why I haven't been making much progress moving and packing. The effects of aging + depression.
Despite my overweight status my body is really weak on top of being unhealthy. I can't lift or move heavy stuff anymore nor vigorously clean like I used to because my tendinitis on both of my arms and wrists start acting up. You can't escape aging. I will have to start dyeing my hair now because as soon as I turned 36 all the grey hair started to anxiously make their appearance. One of my dreams is to dye my hair purple and a boy short hairstyle. Perhaps one day...
It feels weird blogging about myself after sort of dedicating this blog toward bringing awareness to autism and talking about my daughter. Invariably though going public about everything put me in a whirlwind of emotions. I was excited that so many people found my interview so helpful and informative. I was and am so thankful for all of you (those) that came forward and let me know what it meant for them even if it was just to thank me. I was the one who should have been thanking anyone who read such a lengthy interview. I was humbled.
At the same time, for someone who absolutely hates being in the center of attention, it made me even more uncomfortable. Though I'm grateful for all the compliments I received, at the same time I felt guilty and self-conscious. Though I may give it my best at this thing called motherhood I am undeniably far from being a good mother. I felt that there was a huge gap between the compliments that I so graciously received and the reality of who I really was/am.
I knew there was going to be a dip in my depression once it was all said and done but I am used to expecting these things and going through them. I just didn't want people to think I was this angel or "got it all under control" type of mother.
It didn't help that I was already sulking in my depression about having to move from what we thought would have been our permanent home to someone's home. Did I mentioned how dirty it was? Ugh...
Add all those factors together and you got a lazy mom who can't find her brain anywhere and can't find any strength to pack/move.
I got my iPhone 5 replaced for the second time a couple of days ago. Hopefully this is the end of my iPhone 5 nightmare. I decided not to put a screen protector on it this time. If you know me you'd know that that used to be a huuuuge no-no. I take care of my gadgets like their my baby. I had iPhones ever since they came out and they always had screen protectors and cases on from day 1 so I never really got to enjoy them in the raw form. But I felt like being more "daring" this time. And you know what? It feels so awesome!
And with that I'd like to end this post.
Have a good weekend despite the bad weather!
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